Are You Desperate or Irresistible?
When God tells you to do something, it's best to listen the first time around. Don't wait until he sends ten plagues your way--before you get your heart broken--to submit to him. So, if God tells you to let that no-good man go, don't wait until you hear rumors of him cheating on you with your best friend, or him clearing out your bank account, ruining your credit; or you discover that you have a STD, which he got from some other chic...or dude. Listen! God will show you warning signs ahead of time regarding situations you're about to get into. The Holy Spirit works with your common sense, not against it. If he's pushing you against the wall today and becomes uncontrollable when his anger flares up, what do you think he'll be doing after you get married? That's right! Beat your brains out! If he's sitting at home playing video games today--and he's in his mid-thirties--rather than looking for a job, what do you think he's going to do after you get married? That's right! Make you work while you baby him the rest of the marriage. There are signs God shows us ahead of time. And if you're crazy enough to believe you're going to change a grown man AFTER you get married--using that crazy line, "I can change him"--then consider this: How can you change a person who doesn't want to change? You can barely change you! You have to find someone who is already accountable to God, not try to force people to be what you want them to be because you're...desperate. If you hook up with someone who's still acting like a child, then you'll become their distraction (distracting them from growing up and taking responsibility) rather than their help-mate. Women, God called us to be help-mates, not visionaries. Your man needs to have a relationship with God first so that he can get a vision for God for where he needs to be, then he'll recognize and understand your worth and allow you to serve beside him in bringing GOD's vision to pass for that household. But desperation causes many of us to jump the gun and chase after men who aren't ready to surrender their lives to God...then we get disappointed.
Stop selling yourself cheap. Recognize your worth and then a man will recognize your worth. If you think you're worthless, men looking to pray on insecure women will be drawn to you and will seek to take advantage of you. They'll treat you the way you think you deserve to be treated. God loves and values you. It begins with you understanding who you are in Christ. If you don't know who you are, you won't be able to handle the person God wants to send your way. Our identities are in Christ, not bags, heels, and other material things. Do you know who you are? Do you have a prayer life? Do you spend time with the person of the Holy Spirit so that you can gain direction for your life? Have you learned to be a woman of God as described in Proverbs 31? The Bible says in 1 Peter chapter 3 that even unbelievers (unsaved men) find godly women attractive and irresistible. In fact, a godly woman, according to Peter, can cause an unbelieving husband to see God in her just through her lifestyle. When a man looks at you, does he see God in you, or desperation? Will he be inspired by your walk with God or will he be turned off by your religious facade?
When you know your worth, others will recognize it. You'll stop allowing yourself to be used over and over again. If a man can get a fishing license, a driving license, a gun license, a license to practice law or medicine, shouldn't you expect him to get a...marriage license? Aren't you more valuable than a fishing pole or a car? Even Beyonce understood the importance of putting "a ring on it". If someone truly loves you, they'll focus on your well-being physically, mentally, emotionally...and spiritually. They won't demand sex before marriage knowing that it can lead you both to hell. They won't ask you to do things that would jeopardize your walk with God. They will respect your values and principles as a Christian woman. They will want to do things God's way. The Bible says if you're having a hard time containing yourself sexually, then you should marry; for "it is better to marry than to burn (with passion...and in the flames)" (1 Corinthians 7:9). But even more, it is better to wait on God and receive his best for you--and make sure you're ready to be the best for him--before jumping into a marriage. So, rather than compromise your integrity and identity just to be with a man, GET ATTRACTIVE TO JESUS AND THEN YOU WILL DISCOVER WHO YOU ARE AND WHO GOD HAS FOR YOU. If not, you will attract anything. And I mean...anything.